well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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