He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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