Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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