She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
