I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
