You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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