There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
