The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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