She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
