I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
