Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
