this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
