A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
