I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
