"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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