mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
