Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
