think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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