A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
