Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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