Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
