You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
