ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How external is "for external use only"?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Randomize
