with your own penis?
there was a trapeze. enough said
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Idk if I want to put a bra on
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
