So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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