Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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