i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize