Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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