Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There are leaves in my underwear?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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