Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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