Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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