What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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