Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
3pm strippers are depressing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
