my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
