He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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