he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
