sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
