Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
