Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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