When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
