my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize