I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
