I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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