i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize