i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
