I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
