This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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