ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You pole danced in your parka.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
