i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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