Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
