yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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