Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
