if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
