genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
