He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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