I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
