I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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