I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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