why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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