Small penises have feelings too.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
